with the birds.

Words ascending skywards,
Food for thoughts finding flight alongside an angel,
Gunshots fall short before they meet their mark
because the senders heart beats unstable,
Proud in their mission but they conflict their context
and unfold like Cain and Abel,
Words play a rhythm to make sweet of the stains woven throughout our fable,
A fiction of my own craft in which I shelter myself from the truth
and hide from the label She has sewn to my chest.

A man below the sky remarks to never make moves closer to the stars or heaven,
Left below to count my blessings
and find myself fumbling for further assistance when I reach six or seven,
Never enough to match the strength of her heart
I rate beyond perfection with an eleven,
Count pennies before you count pounds –
Words of wisdom you spoke in whispers before you left me to walk my way.

You lost truth and found luck when you stopped throwing dice to a game
You had no intention of playing,
Yet life directed your course towards the wrong lane and soon the wrong man, Plotting a course of his own fuelled by pain and impulse –
He walked the world with no plan,
But this sweet princess escaped in time
and found that she can reserve seats for kings and leave behind the lowly man.

With these words,
To the sky send a letter that traces its ways through the clouds
and on her skin met with a kiss,
And with every drop of rain and sun that may shine I send another for each that would miss,
As her eyes sit set in diamonds across the blanket of my dreams
and through darkness from afar still guide towards a world brighter than this place,
Alone.

red ink, cracked wall.

Conflict within your own mind,
Step back like, what’s happening?
Trapped in my own mind,
Aggravated, agitated –
I’ve got my own cage rattling.

Paranoia poison,
Hearing voices and seeing faces,
Homes becomes houses,
Running from empty places,
Feeling locked in limbo
and my mind has me in stasis –

What’s wrong?
I should ask for the state of affairs,
You used to be so social
and now you’re down here,
Instead of with the over-theres.

I made my own mess
and revelled in the dirt too long to come clean,
Isolated myself and felt flippant when friends I made distant started asking where I’d been –
Like what the fuck do you mean?
Move back,
With every third step take another four,
Sail your ship back and see sure your feet never make home upon shore.

Have your world with the others
and leave me alone,
Bursting my bubble is a clear intrusion of my zone,
An international border –
Locked away with my books far from family,
Trying to educate the ways in which you lose
and find your Sanity –

But with all these words what could I know?
A mere man,
Or boy with plans to grow.
Dreaming of worlds span in silver,
A reality made to let the mind go –
But never a world so simple,
Ours is a world too tarnished to exist in gold.

Black clouds mark my forever,
And if ex marks the spot,
My treasure, forever says never –
My gold is gone,
I’ve lost my happiness too,
Written on weathered paper –
“The last time I felt happy, I felt happy with you.”

But that’s all lost and so I mark my map red,
Tore the pages from my diary,
My emotions should never read,
Keep my thoughts to myself,
With my brothers, never break bread,
Mark my words against the stone beneath which I lay dead.

Cry in silence,
Hell reserves a seven foot hole for the attention seeker –
With a medical prescription in hand,
You have faith in God,
And I have faith my saviour will make my mind weaker.

Picture this –
A blue sky that sweats tears, we all see as rain,
But the sun sees fear,
Pushes lights inside and hopes to paint the sky in colour,
Now we recognise the signs of life,
Yet still fail to see the pain past –
So cry alone and have your moment,
For in our pain and negativity the world screams,
‘You will never be important.’

A new day.

Mind the mines, run around picking nickels and dimes and you might find
Dipping your hand in the pot of gold might make you lose part of yourself
And with that you might find you’ve been losing your self
It’s like a mission, geared up ready for whatever
Hoods up, gloves on,
Thinking you’re a big man ready for the weather,
But when the storm comes in you can’t see bodies that said the journeys walked together,
About how they’re riding and how you’re posted up forever.
Forever turns to never and then one misstep has bombs going off,
A mind in crisis, headed head first to no where, no knowing where we’re stopping off,
And that’s the first step taken to realising that we’re all lost,
All my energy goes introspective and getting the girls topping off,
Sweet sugar,
A mouth full of cream she takes all of me,
I can’t give back, her hearts big but she can’t hold all of me,
A crushing weight until she’s empty, nothing left, her loves spent.
Mummy saying don’t push hearts away, saying head to the lord and for your sins you shall repent,
But by my mind I’m blind I can’t see beyond the fog,
Lungs full of all this nonsense, choking on my thoughts when I jog,
Running backwards into nowhere this cycle needs to break.
How many times can I apologise for making loving me her biggest mistake?
All these questions, no answers,
Withdraw my cash and head to see the dancers,
Cards clutched to my chest I play a black jack, my hand blessed by the clovers.
A little drink turns to spending my winnings on the rest of the bottle,
And the bottle quickly empties so I’m looking for left overs,
It’s a crazy life and in the end I know that my feet are stuck.
I’m sitting in the mud and everybody that I love has started not to trust – my words
But hear hear, listen here have my pen,
I hold hope to my dreams that together we’ll be celebrating them,
To my family and my friends, for my sorrows I apologise,
I wipe my tears and crack a smile and see the world through your eyes,
Fuck the darkness, let the light shine in and soon see us win,
I’m starting with myself, soon see how I see from within,
A new day.